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| Lifeless dream |
DeliveryD40 |
01/10/07 |
Do you have a dream,
making a grown man scream.
Can you see inside a frightened breath,
about the thoughts of impending death.
I wake some mornings screaming in shame,
trying to figure who I might blame.
Do you dream of hate, worries or pain,
I have all my life, seeing stressful strain.
It scares me to think what lies ahead,
in a matter of days or years I will be dead.
I dream of money and happiness,
now I will have nothing, my life is a mess.
Can you see the strain,
my body wracked in sizable pain.
I call out, but no one hears my screaming,
just another day full of lifeless dreaming.
This is another poem, which has taken me months to work on. With my health deteriorating, it is hard to concentrate on my thoughts. I invite all, that is, all expert opinions and they are very much welcomed. Please do not feed me a one sentence answer. I want to know what you think and help, in the improvement of the peice. Only the sincere apply please! I rate by quality (good), not quantity! Straight forward responses always welcomed. ty
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Clarification/Follow-up by DeliveryD40 on 01/12/07 8:41 pm:
Basically, my work, is hard for me lately! I love all creative criticism and find no insults in any. So if you experts out there want to give me a straight to the point answer. Quality..in good or bad form, is always rewarded well. God bless you all and thanks again for you advice.
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