or
Join Now!
|
|
Home/People & Relationships/Workplace Relationships
|
| Forum |
Ask A Question |
Question Board |
FAQs |
Search |
Return to Question Board
| Question Details |
Asked By |
Asked On |
| emotional problems |
Anonymous |
11/20/03 |
Hi,
I have a problem which is giving me acidity and a sad feeling inside.
All my life I have been subdued. When I was younger I was brought up in a strict environment. My mom was the head of the house and very very loving but her word was the last word. No arguments and daddy also agreed to her decisions. We were also a very close knit family the 5 of us. My brothers are the same as I am. Since we really did not interact that much with the outsiders we were taught to not to answer back to our adults, their word was the last word and treat our brothers and sisters with respect and love as they are your family.
When I was younger we moved around a lot & at different schools I was bullied around by kids and to avoid such people I used to take a long route to my classes.
I like being surrounded in clam surroundings and have a problem with people who are aggressive. Though unfortunately I work in a company with 5,000 employees with different nature, their own agendas etc.
Where can I go to learn to stand up for myself?
Tell people no and not feel guilty as they always do say the same to me.
When people are rude show them that they cannot treat me like shit.
Not let my mind go blank when someone insults me, wants to use me etc and think up an appropriate answer and then defend myself.
My best friend says that I need to show that people can’t just use me and then walk all over me. She says that you are a human being with feelings and people should treat you with respect.
Here are the problems I am facing work wise.
1. My coworker at work who wants me out of the way as he is leaving now, he got a promotion, somehow uses words to stir up my supervisor’s emotions and tells her stuff like ‘you have so much on your shoulders now that Terry (me) is a bit free why not let Terry do the work for you, otherwise why are you paying Terry’. (Our pervious boss moved to another area and now the supervisor is in charge as our new boss does not know anything about our office so he looks to us to advice him about the office operations.)
When my coworker was in my position he was so rude to everyone especially the supervisor that she really had to kiss up to him, my coworker, when she wanted some info from the boss or needed a special favor, even a little bit thing like wanting to see the boss, she would have to go through him. She, the supervisor talked to him in such a loving tone, but with me she bosses me around and calls me up every 10 minutes to see where I have been. Though the funny thing is that I replaced the coworker but I am bullied around the coworker was treated like a VIP.
Today unexpectedly she showed up in our office and just jerked open all the cabinets and started pulling out all the files and did an inspection. She started to throw all the files on the side which piled up and then left. I told her why did you do that now I have to file all 45 files again. If you wanted to have a look you should have put them in their pockets. She ignored me.
2. My coworker, who has moved to his other office, since he does not want to be disturbed, directs his 2 phones to my number and also I get my calls. I told him 5 times to remove the forwarding but he did not budge.
I don’t get it how do I act with such people. Being with them for 10 hours a day is very depressing and please don’t tell me to search for another job as there are none available.
WHAT DO I DO WHEN PEOPLE PRETEND THAT I AM NOT HERE AND JUST IGNORE MY REQUESTS.
My personal life.
1. My cousin who is 5 years younger than me pokes fun intentionally at family gatherings about something person. I believe it is not fair to poke fun at people on their personal problems. When I told my mom that I don’t like to go to family gatherings because my cousin pokes fun at my personal problems and then that problem is the highlight of our discussion, my mom said that ‘well honey it is your doing and if you had taken steps to improve your life they won’t make fun of you’
I just don’t get it. Why hurt another human being unnecessarily? When we believe in God, we become so humble but when we treat HIS children like dirt, these people actually enjoy it. You can see them smirking, or laughing at someone’s insults, how come.
This type of attitude just escapes me. When I see someone crying I start to cry with them because their pain is so much so BUT people are opposite they enjoy seeing others hurt.
Anyway, like my friend said that it will be very difficult for me to live in this world and you have to be like them BUT HOW when I don’t have it in me. I don’t know how to retaliate. I don’t know how to given an insult back. And when I do try to stand up for myself I just get myself into more hot water than before.
BUT AT THE SAME TIME I am A YOUNG ADULT & I DON’T WANT TO BE WALKED ALL OVER AND HAVE HEALTH PROBLEMS LIKE ACIDITY WHEN people do this to me.
|
|
Your Options |
Additional Options are only visible when you login! !
|
|
|
|
