Clarification/Follow-up by Acool on 04/07/04 1:09 am:
The thing is I just cant talk to my parents. I live in a very rich town and go to a VERY GOOD school and we are all expected to be perfect. Everyone gets strait A's, joins like 20 clubs and plays at least 3 sports. SO its hard because my sister goes to Yale and im not as smart as her, not as popular and that does have an effect on me because that is going to stop me from talking to my parents. They could tell me a hundred times that they love me as much as my sister and they want to help me but I could never tell them about this. I think that they will find this wierd and look at it the wrong way. My parents have never really been there for emotional support. They are very generous with there money and when we talk thats all they think I see, saying "we give you everything" and I dont care about everything, I just want to be happy for once in my life. And im begging you I need to talk to you or someone online because I KNOW I wont get help here and im so scared, im trembling. Seriously my hands are shaking. Ok im sry, please respoinde.

-ADAM

Clarification/Follow-up by Acool on 04/08/04 1:26 am:
See...you just did the same thing that im here for. I am not here saying im ungrateful for everything I have and here you are COMPARING me to your kidas and grandkids and every other kid for that matter. No offense but im not your kid and im not my neighbors kid and im not George Bush's kid. So why is it that I have to be just like everyonelse. Im one of those kids that yes likes to go with the flow but im not gonna do anything I dont wanna do. Im not the same as everybody so why approach my problem the same way ya know. I guess what im saying is that you are telling me that I have it good to some kids but thats not true. I could be the richest man in the universe, AND my family could be there for me 100% of the time but im not happy. I could be the smartest and most popular but im still not happy. I need help from somewhere other then my parents and its impossible to get it so I guess I wont be getting any help because you said that you cant help me? I didnt mean to sound rude and if some1 CANNNNNN help me that would be great. Thanx -Adam

Clarification/Follow-up by Acool on 04/08/04 5:12 am:
You know what the wierd thing is? Remember when I fist posted I said that I have social anxiety disorder. I dont know if you know this but it social anxiety not only affects ur interactions with others but it makes you feel like you are being watched 24/7, like people are judging me. I could be walking down the street and pass by another person and in my mind I think that I know what he is thinking about me. That is with a complete stranger, so how am I supposed to talk to my parents when I cant even be comfortable with a stranger judging me(im not saying they will judge me but that is what my thought process is) And its wierd cuz thats why its so hard to tlak to my parents. You can tell me that there not judging me and so can they and eeryone else that knows us, but in the end it comes down to what I think because that is going to be the decidin factor if I talk to them or not. -adam

Clarification/Follow-up by bal317 on 04/09/04 5:30 am:
Hello Adam: You are correct, we all are judged each and everyday. As the Bible says, we should not, it still has become unfortunately apart of our "human nature". However, if and many of us do, dress, and go on our way in a "normal" fashion, keeping in kind, we are more part of society than being odd, and so in that we are just that, a part of and not brought out on much judgement, only if we absolutely do something that brings the media too us.
You sound like a very mature young person, your parents have known you before you even knew your own name, or many things upto that point you are at now. So, having these types of roots, it builds comfort and recognition, your parents already know you and more about you than you think, again they knew you when you did not even know how to take care of yourself, they taught you all along the way.
Including seeing you received great medical care, to protect you against all the childhood diseases, and when you were physically ill, you need another type of help, and seeings you already have the diagnosis they know what stages you might go through, so this will not be a surprise, but they need to know. Just as if one has a headache, well not all headache medications immediately help all, but one does not know if anyone is getting relief, if they are not told how the medication is working, or they just assume the person is alright.
You also whether you feel this way or not, do have friends within your parents, they are your soul support.
Yes, I know you say you have this disorder, and you know the only way to help is through a medical provider your physician, your parents. It does not have to involve the outside world, your very own close connection.
But, you have to build a trust and get the guts, to let them in. You are an intellegent person, and with all my heart I wish there was a way to help you, and I feel by encouraging you to speak to them, I and the other Experts are helping you in the absolutely very best way possible.
Yes, it is your decision, all up to you, but you have to know and you do know, you are the key to your solution, it going to be tough at first, but by letting out your problems is far better than assuming, speculating or being afraid and holding all this in is instilling more fear than you have to go through.
Free yourself, by connecting with your parents, allow them to know you are aware of some problems you are experiencing, because eventually the things we hold onto as secrets do come out in the light, and then there might be more problems resulting from this silence than what has to happen. So go to them, be up front and let them get you the much needed help.
Think of and for yourself, it's all for you and your freedom to be you.
bal317

Clarification/Follow-up by Acool on 04/24/04 5:51 am:
Hey, remember me! I just thought of something and I just thought id get your opinion. The last time we talked I kept sayign that I just cant talk to my parents. ANd something happened this morning that...well I dont kow but here it is. Anyway my sister is 20 and goes to University of Maryland. She has had a boyfred since she was 16. They were in love with each other but they broke up for some reason. I dont know if he had another girlfriend or he wasnt ready. And she is also looking for a job this summer. My mom was helping her and making some calls. But my sister was just not wanting to get out of bed so my mom went in to her room and started to yell at her and she broke out in tears. My mom thought it was because she yelled at her but it obviously wasnt. SHe is still upset about her breakout. My mom then said "I know your upset about this but you have to move on and not let this interfere with your life." My sister was still crying so my mom asked if she wanted to talk about it. And my sister said "why would I want to talk to you about this." ANd I could tell that she just didnt want to talk about it with my PARENTS. And another reason is because I know that she tlaks to my cousins fiance. Hes so nice and they talk once in awhile and he was making her feel better about the breakup. So it may sound stupid but there must be something wrong if both me and my sister dont like talkign to my parents about these types of things. So why is this, they give us everything we want and need (were not spoiled, just fortunate), their not abusive in anyway, its just that we dont feel comfortable with them or what? Whateer I just thought id get ur opinion on this. Please respond! ~adam~

Clarification/Follow-up by Acool on 04/24/04 12:22 pm:
Well when I fell like I dont want to talk to my parents...its not just that I dont think that they will understand. I know that I wont like there answer. And for some reason I just get like annoyed...I dont know what to say but I get annoyed talking to people close to me about that stuff. Ya know, when I talk to someone I dont want them feeling what I see my parents feel. Its uncomfortable to me and embarrassing. Im not describing this right but im sorry. Its just this feeling that I get in my gut that stops me from asking them about sensitive subjects. Not always that I dont think they'll understand but that they'll understand to much. They'll think that they know what I am goin through and see me as someone who does need their help. Where I dont, Ive always felt lie this. And again I really dont think this makes sense at all. But how come it is not possible that everyone I do talk to about this always thinks that talking to my parents is the only way to go. Im so confused and I dont see my parents as an option. Im so depressed and being even more depressed cuz I know that yes maybe talking to my parents MIGHT help, but again in my gut I pretty much HATE talkign to them about this. I dont know, im sorry this is confusing and im sorry that I keep sayin gim sorry lol but im SOOOOO god damn confused!!!!!!!!!!!!

Clarification/Follow-up by Acool on 04/25/04 3:00 am:
Can you help me find a hotline in my area. I know im not supposed to give out where I live but ill tell you if I need to. And it HAS to be free. Im sure most opf them are, but I dont want it to appear on my parents phonebill...thanx adam