Clarification/Follow-up by looptx on 01/14/03 6:08 pm:
Thanks again for your suggestions. I just wanted you to know that based on the job title of associate editor, you thought I was way off base by mentioning some of the things I did in my cover letter, such as the design projects I'd worked on, etc. These were all directed toward what the ad had said was needed. I didn't tell them anything that they hadn't requested.

Clarification/Follow-up by voiceguy2000 on 01/14/03 10:17 pm:
If these various items are all mentioned in the ad as selection criteria for candidates, then I would suggest taking another crack at the letter with two concepts in mind:

1. Explicitly cite each point requested by the ad, and

2. Indicate that you satisfy that criterion with specific facts from your background.

It may be that your draft letter will get a little long in this process. That's OK; you can edit for length and conciseness in a later path.

What I think will serve you well, though, is specific, concrete evidence that supports your claim to be a candidate worth considering on each item mentioned.

Let us say, for instance, that your statement I have excellent project and employee management skills is directly in response to something mentioned in the ad. As stated, it is a naked conclusion with nothing to back it up; rather, the interviewer/screener would have to search your resume for evidence. Better to say something like

I have excellent project and employee management skills, as shown by

• First specific item
• Second specific item
• Third specific item

Clarification/Follow-up by voiceguy2000 on 01/15/03 2:46 am:
Here are some comments on your resume. Without knowing more about the position you are applying for, these comments must be pretty general.

RESUME:
Name, address, etc.

Hard to argue with this. Choose carefully what your “etc.” is. Omit things like age, marital status.

I agree with your instinct to put key selling points up front (at the top, in other words). But I can’t help thinking that you could find some far more specific and compelling things to say here. All of these traits are generic and diffuse, and as presently stated do little to distinguish you from every other candidate. What can you say that ties in specifically to this job and this employer?

Somehow “review” seems a bit weird -- what about simply “experience”?

Unless the use of Quark Xpress, and the capability to be a digital photographer, are specifically helpful to your candidacy, I would be inclined to put a period after “support documents” and omit the balance of the sentence.

Again, the question is whether this is important to the position of Associate Editor.

I am skeptical as to whether “gained experience in grant writing” helps you. I would put a period after “direct mail pieces” unless grant writing is a specific plus for this job

I see no harm in mentioning this, especially if it ties in to Associate Editor job description.

I question what bearing this has on the Associate Editor position.

This seems unrelated to the Associate Editor position.

The word “free” jumps out at me in this sentence. It makes it sound like this is an unpaid job or something. I think we need to know slightly more about this, and make sure it is a legitimate, paying position.

This could be pertinent to the Associate Editor job, but it would be nice to tie it in better. I would substitute the word “produced” for “responsible for writing,” and say “revised site content” instead of “editing existing text.”

This is nice but potentially irrelevant to the Associate Editor position.

A sharp eye will note that you have been on this payroll three separate times, and are currently wanting to leave it. You need to be prepared to discuss this.

The first part of this sentence, “played an integral role in a small, entrepreneurial company,” is kind of vague and does not seem to me to enhance your candidacy. Why not simply say, “Managing editor for publications department producing two magazines and an annual book” or the like?

I would delete the words beginning “In 1995” through “president to” and begin with “Implemented.”

I am a little uncomfortable with the second half of the last sentence, beginning “which required.” It seems a little patronizing to the interviewer.

This is a little jarring: You say “current” above, but here you say “working freelance.” I think you should consider taking out “working freelance” in this bullet, or else omit “current” in the chronology.

What I see here is that you apparently moved from Colorado Springs to Seattle in 1994, then back to Colorado Springs (or was it London?) in 1995. I wonder if there isn’t a better way to handle this. It really depends on your reasons for moving. You might actually put in a separate entry for Frequent Flyer Services 1992-93.

No real quarrel with this stuff; it really depends on how closely it ties in with the stated requirements of the Associate Editor job. Perhaps more info than necessary

It is at this point, The Hear Center, that I have suggested you telescope your earlier experience into a single paragraph that summarizes all of these previous jobs.

Again, because this experience is old, and really does not bear much on the Associate Editor position, I would lump it all into a catch-all that says something about previous positions in advertising and production management for local newspapers and radio.

I think this education credential should go in front of your work experience, because it seems relevant to the Associate Editor position.