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| Elderly friend excruciatingly self-conscious about her appearance |
Anonymous |
11/30/06 |
I am a man in my 70s and I've had a very long-term friendship with a woman now in her 80s. In fact we were married at one time, many years ago. (Neither of us remarried.) The friendship is very important to me. Until a few years ago, we would visit each other (even though we live in different parts of the State), and often celebrate holidays together. But Ruth has not wanted to visit with me at all in recent years. She is quite willing to talk on the phone, at times at length, and does phone me. She suffered some health problems a while back, and for a while put me off because, she said, of her health. Now however she says she won't see me because of her deteriorated appearance. Since her appearance is not going to improve, this means that I can expect never to see her again, and this affects me terribly. I have no idea what she looks like now, but I know that when I used to visit with her she always complained (before the visit) of how bad she looked, and then when I saw her she looked just great. But I've tried to impress on her that her appearance is not important to me. She admits that it is her pride that won't let me see her. She does not even want to discuss the matter. So I don't know what to do. |
Clarification/Follow-up by Anonymous on 12/01/06 12:54 am:
Thanks, CeeBee, for your support. I've tried my best to convey those thoughts to her (though not so eloquently as you), but she grows impatient. She *really* doesn't want to talk about it. I appreciate very much your offer to phone her. I'm reluctant to give out her phone number here, but I'll gladly give it to you if you care to write me at: oldfriend@theskillspool.org.
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