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To buy or not to buy yecart2811 05/11/05
    I have lived with a friend for 6months, and she's invited me to her birthday dinner with some of her family. The dinner will cost $70 each (which I'm paying for myself) then drinks on top of that. My question is ... should I buy a present too or is just attending for $70 enough? We haven't lived together long enough for her to buy for my birthday yet, so this will set the precident for my birthday! I wouldn't expect a present from her, but what do you think is the proper thing to do?

      Clarification/Follow-up by tarot10 on 05/12/05 5:23 am:
      You buying your friend a birthday present WILL NOT I repeat WILL NOT set any precident for your birthdate. If you're friend is a taker, greedy or stingy, you will NOT get a birthdate present. If you do in return for the $70 you spend, it will be a very cheap present.

      WHAT KIND OF BIRTHDAY PARTY DO YOU THINK THIS IS WHERE THE PEOPLE INVITED ARE EXPECTED TO PAY FOR EVERYTHING?

      You have two options.
      1.Either don't buy your friend a present until you find out if she would buy you one with visitible proof

      2. Buy a very inexpensive gift. Don't waste your money on someone you don't even know yet.


      Also, normally when people go to birthday parties they give a present but they get something to eat. If you go to a wedding, you take a gift but in return you get music and dinner.

      I STRONGLY suggest you don't buy a gift at all. $70 is more than enough. I personally wouldn't spend $70 on someone I didn't even know.

      Also, can you affort $70? You can buy a lot more food at the grocery store with $70 than just one dinner. The price and money they expect people to spend should give you an indication of how demanding these people are. They should be providing the birthdate dinner if they expect you to take a gift.

      Make sure you're not wasting $70 out of guilt, obligation or because you think this will insure a friendship with your friend (your best friend is your savings account)or out of being a SUCKER.



      THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS A FREE LUNCH, BUT SOME PEOPLE WILL TRY TO GET ONE FROM YOU IF YOU LET THEM.

      Don't be a sucker, keep your money in your bank account and treat yourself to a dinner or a birthdate present for yourself instead even if you have to go by yourself.

      Let me know if you have any other questions.



      Clarification/Follow-up by tarot10 on 05/12/05 6:09 am:
      Let me know how many people attend this birthday dinner. Maybe I'll throw myself a freeby also.

 
Summary of Answers Received Answered On Answered By Average Rating
1. No gift yet, wait until next yr. John...
05/11/05 jocaseAbove Average Answer
2. Your "lived with" is ambiguous -- it could describe a ...
05/12/05 Jim.McGinnessNo rating received!
3. It is a birthday dinner; take a gift! Practice being generou...
05/12/05 ChouxNo rating received!
4. I realize I'm too late, but for others who may be reading...
07/25/05 Noe_SpaemmeNo rating received!
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