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| How committed are you? |
Itsdb |
04/23/07 |
Since stopping global warming is all the talk now, how committed are you? Rocker Sheryl Crow makes the following suggestions:
Although my ideas are in the earliest stages of development, they are, in my mind, worth investigating. One of my favorites is in the area of forest conservation which we heavily rely on for oxygen. I propose a limitation be put on how many squares of toilet paper can be used in any one sitting. Now, I don't want to rob any law-abiding American of his or her God-given rights, but I think we are an industrious enough people that we can make it work with only one square per restroom visit, except, of course, on those pesky occasions where 2 to 3 could be required. When presenting this idea to my younger brother, who's judgment I trust implicitly, he proposed taking it one step further. I believe his quote was, "how bout just washing the one square out."
I also like the idea of not using paper napkins, which happen to be made from virgin wood and represent the height of wastefulness. I have designed a clothing line that has what's called a "dining sleeve." The sleeve is detachable and can be replaced with another "dining sleeve," after usage. The design will offer the "diner" the convenience of wiping his mouth on his sleeve rather than throwing out yet another barely used paper product. I think this idea could also translate quite well to those suffering with an annoying head cold.
Reportedly, Sheryl touched Karl Rove over the weekend and he objected, can she not figure out why?
Someone mentioned an Army directive on conserving toilet paper from the sixties this morning that might be helpful in deciding which way to vote:
Take one square of toilet paper, fold it in half and then in half again so you have an equal square, tear off one corner to create a hole for your middle finger for traction.
OK, so who's in, one square of toilet paper per sitting?
Wearing snot on your sleeves, yes or no?
Bonus question, does anyone know what Sheryl's guitars are made of? |
Clarification/Follow-up by tomder55 on 04/23/07 3:37 pm:
just have to wonder why she doesn't consider harvesting sycamore leaves .
Clarification/Follow-up by kindj on 04/23/07 5:43 pm:
Steve,
Regrettably, no. I flipped through looking for some, but with only a five minute passing period, I didn't have time for a more leisurely search.
I did manage to alter Marilyn Manson's appearance somewhat, though. Clarification/Follow-up by Itsdb on 04/23/07 6:05 pm:
>>I did manage to alter Marilyn Manson's appearance somewhat, though.<<
Hmm, I can't imagine whether that would be an improvement, or even noticeable... Clarification/Follow-up by Itsdb on 04/23/07 8:20 pm:
Your Demolition Man quotes made me wonder if she stole the idea from Seinfeld. From The Stall:
ELAINE: what a dope!
uh..excuse me
umm.. I'm sorry
this is.. this is kind of embarrassing but.. there's no toilet paper over here
JANE: (from the stall on Elaine's right)
are you talking to me?
ELAINE: yeah.. I
I just forgot to check
so if you could just spare me some
JANE: no I'm sorry
ELAINE: what?
JANE: no I'm sorry, I can't spare it
ELAINE: you can't spare it??
JANE: no there's not enough to spare
ELAINE: well I don't need much, just 3 squares will do it
JANE: I'm sorry I don't have a square to spare, now if you don't mind
ELAINE: 3 squares? you can't spare 3 squares??
JANE: no I don't have a square to spare, I can't spare a square
ELAINE: oh is it two-ply? cause it it's two-ply I'll take one ply, one ply, one, one puny little ply, I'll take one measly ply
JANE: look, I don't have a square and I don't have a ply (flushing and leaving)
Elaine: no no, no no, don't don't, I beg you
Clarification/Follow-up by tomder55 on 04/26/07 1:23 pm:
When told about Crow's idea ,Rosie made perhaps here most profound contribution since she went on 'The View ' . She said have you seen my ass ?
![]()
It is not clear from the photo if she is demonstrating the size of her ass or her mouth in above photo Clarification/Follow-up by Itsdb on 04/26/07 2:38 pm:
tom, she may be demonstrating the size of her rectum but that definitely wouldn't begin to cover the size of her ass. In any case, mouth, rectum, whatever, I think she'll have difficulty reaching her goal:
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