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| A proposal from the state of Texas. |
purplewings |
10/23/04 |
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Future of Texas
Please note that Texas is the only state with a legal right to secede from the Union (please refer to the Texas-American Annexation Treaty of 1848). We Texans love y'all, but we'll have to take action if Kerry wins president over Bush. We'll miss you too.
Texas has given all those complainers plenty of time to get used to the results. After seeing the whiners along the campaign route, the folks from Texas are considering taking matters into our their hands.
Here is our solution:
#1: Let John Kerry become President of the United States. (all 49 states.)
#2: George W. Bush becomes the President of the Republic of Texas. So what does Texas have to do to survive as a Republic?
1. NASA is just south of Houston, Texas. (We will control the space industry.)
2. We refine over 85% of the gasoline in the United States.
3. Defense Industry. (We have over 65% of it.) The term "Don't mess with Texas" will take on a whole new meaning.
4. Oil - we can supply all the oil that the Republic of Texas will need for the next 300 years. Yankee states? Sorry about that.
5. Natural Gas - Again we have all we need and it's too bad about those northern states. John Kerry will figure a way to keep them warm....
6. Computer Industry - We currently lead the nation in producing computer chips and communications: Small places like Texas Instruments, Dell Computer, EDS, Raytheon, National Semiconductor, Motorola, Intel, AMD, Atmel, Applied Materials, Ball Semiconductor, Dallas Semiconductor, Delphi, Nortel, Alcatel, Etc, Etc. The list goes on and on.
7. Health Centers - We have the largest research centers for cancer research, the best burn centers and the top trauma units in the world and other large health planning centers.
8. We have enough colleges to keep us going: U.T., Texas A&M, Texas Tech, Rice, SMU, University of Houston, Baylor, UNT, Texas Women's University, etc. Ivy grows better in the south anyway.
9. We have a ready supply of workers. (Just open the border when we need some more.)
10. We have control of the paper industry, plastics, insurance, etc.
11. In case of a foreign invasion, we have the Texas National Guard and the Texas Air National Guard. We don't have an army, but since everybody down here has at least six rifles and a pile of ammo, we can raise an army in 24 hours if we need it. If the situation really gets bad, we can always call Department of Public Safety and ask them to send over a couple Texas Rangers.
12. We are totally self sufficient in beef, poultry, hogs and several types of grain, fruit and vegetables and let's not forget seafood from the gulf. And everybody down here knows how to cook them so that they taste good. Don't need any food.
This just names a few of the items that will keep the Republic of Texas in good shape. There isn't a thing out there that we need and don't have.
Now to the rest of the United States under President Kerry:
Since you won't have the refineries to get gas for your cars, only President Kerry will be able to drive around in his 9 mile per gallon SUV. The rest of the United States will have to walk or ride bikes.
You won't have any TV as the Space Center in Houston will cut off your communications. You won't have any natural gas to heat your homes, but since Mr. Kerry has predicted global warming, you will not need the gas.
Signed,
The People in Texas
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Clarification/Follow-up by powderpuff on 10/24/04 5:47 am:
They also have fresh water from the Ogallala Aquifer; self sufficient? YES!
Clarification/Follow-up by excon on 10/24/04 11:55 am:
by the way...very cool picture pw!
darkstar Clarification/Follow-up by purplewings on 10/24/04 12:01 pm:
Thanks. You're supposed to listen to "The Yellow Rose of Texas" while reading this article.
P.S. What's up with you and Darkstar typing from the same keyboard?
PW
Clarification/Follow-up by excon on 10/24/04 12:06 pm:
yes well, pw, i am here for a very nice visit with excon :)
Clarification/Follow-up by tomder55 on 10/25/04 6:35 am:
turns out;the Washington Times story today is not quite the bomb-shell that it was depicted as ,but it is revealing . Basically ,Kerry lied at the 2nd debate about meeting the Security Council Members before voting to authorize the use of force in Iraq. He has repeatedly stated or implied that Bush has lied ,and that he is the epitomy of his mother's abmonition;Integrity ,Integrity ,Integrity .My guess is that by his definition telling the truth is not requisite.
Clarification/Follow-up by Yiddishkeit on 10/25/04 8:04 pm:
And we know how during the debates both candidates were perfect boy scouts (tongue in cheek). GW this past Sunday skipped church services to campaign...shame on GW, bad boy.
Clarification/Follow-up by Itsdb on 10/25/04 8:15 pm:
Elliot,
We are much more sophisticated rednecks now...we got wine, theater, world class opera, symphony and museums. We're all cultured up :)
Steve
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