Question Details	Asked By	Asked On
Holiday Fantasy Question	XCHOUX	05/31/04
If a spaceship landed on earth and aliens assessed the blow-'em-up violence everywhere, Africa MiddleEast what would the space travelers propose to the countries of earth so they could end the horror? What would each country contribute to the peace?
Answered By		Answered On
stevehaddock		06/03/04
People of Earth! We feel your pain. We must not allow the strong to overwhelm the weak. Like a good gardener must attack the problem at the root. We therefore demand that the United States give up their weapons of mass destruction! No, not those piddly nuclear weapons, smallpox stores in Atlanta, or huge caches of nerve gas. No, as technologically superior aliens, we laugh at those pop-guns! Ha! No, we have it on the best intelligence that the United States government is working on weapons of galaxy destruction (WGDs)! Anti-matter bombs. Genetic mutation chemicals. Gas that can make your organs climb out of your skin. Even the ultimate Hypernova transfibulator. Even we tremble at this weapon which can destroy entire groups of solar systems! Anal probing is known to be the most reliable method of obtaining intelligence in the universe. The people we have carefully culled from isolated areas of the United States have given us incontrovertable proof. Moreover, it is clear the United States has had contact with intergalactic terrorist groups. Our scans of the area you know as "Roswell" has shown definitive evidence of collaboration between the U.S. Army and the Martian "Red Planet Brigade" dating back more than fifty of your "years". We believe that the U.S. government supplied the Red Brigade with the hydrogen bomb they used to blow up the Rigelian Casino in your year 1958. Or thereabouts. As such, we look forward to invading the United States on the first monday of Novemember of this year. Yes, we know we will be greated as liberators not just by Americans (who we understand did not vote for this Bush person we've heard about). Heck, in the event there are no WGD's, we all know you want regime change and you don't want to take the chance that Bush will lose again and still be president. We heard he's tortured people. Even if you were planning on voting for Kerry, won't it be worth it for the rest of humanity? Heck, that Kerry guy may be just as bad. But don't worry - no matter what happens after we use our new anti-Republican ray to remove your more undesirable elements, we will find a good reason for utterly destroying the United States. God bless the United Solar Systems!

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