Question Details	Asked By	Asked On
Good cover letter/resume?	looptx	01/13/03
[Please give honest feedback. Thanks so much!!!] COVER LETTER: Dear Sir or Madam: I read with interest your posting or craigslist for an Associate Editor and would very much like to learn more about the position and your organization. I feel that the job would be a good fit for my skills and personality. My strengths as an editor revolve around my ability to see the “big picture” while not losing sight of the details. My time management skills are first rate -- I can juggle many jobs at once while consistently meeting multiple deadlines. I have excellent project and employee management skills and have worked within marketing and publishing departments. I work well independently and also enjoy working within a team. I have excellent desk-top publishing skills and have designed books, newspaper editorial pages, ads, brochures and direct-mail pieces. I have also been responsible for the department's budget in several positions. I would be pleased to meet with you to discuss how I could contribute to your organization and hope to hear from you soon. Kind regards, RESUME: Name, address, etc. Key Skills • Excellent grammar and editing skills. • Strong initiation skills coupled with a good sense of priorities. • Organized, detail-oriented. • Work well under pressure and to tight deadlines while maintaining quality standards. • Creative, problem-solving attitude toward work. • Top-notch computer skills working with PCs and Macs. Career Review Community Partnership for Child Development/Head Start Colorado Springs, CO 2000-2002 • Communications Director for Head Start preschool program working in the Resource Development department of nonprofit agency. • Wrote/designed/edited Annual Report, two quarterly newsletters, direct mail pieces and support documents using QuarkXPress software. Was also digital photographer for all publications. • Maintained agency Web site using FrontPage 2000 software. • Created media interest for donations and recruitment of families for Head Start services by issuing press releases. Wrote direct mail pieces and gained experience in grant writing. • Managed advertising expenditures for agency and budget for recruitment efforts and publications. • As part of the Development Team, planned and implemented special events. • Managed recruitment efforts for preschool programs working within a team helping to bring in 1,400 students annually. USA.NET, Inc. Colorado Springs, CO 1998-1999 • Copywriter for a free, Web-based email service with more than five million subscribers worldwide. • Responsible for writing a wide variety of text: press releases, marketing, banner ad, general Web site, user manual; as well as editing existing text for grammar, content and style. • Gained experience in HTML, Web design and procedures. Frequent Flyer Services Colorado Springs, CO; London, UK 1992-1993; 1995-1998; Current • Played an integral role in small, entrepreneurial company as the managing editor for a publications department in which two magazines and a book was produced. • In 1995, was asked by company president to implement successful start-up of InsideFlyer International Edition, a magazine for members of frequent flyer programs who reside outside the Americas. Operated publishing office in London, England. • Was also the managing editor of "The Official Frequent Flyer Guidebook," an annual publication with a 200,000 circulation. In this role, updated information in a 500+ page book by working closely with marketing personnel of all major airlines and hotels. • Served as press contact for publications such as USA Today and The Wall Street Journal which required writing and speaking about the complexities of frequent flyer programs in a precise, businesslike manner. • Currently working freelance to update the information in "The Official Frequent Flyer Guidebook." Amica International Seattle, WA 1994 • Marketing coordinator, graphic artist and editor for a book publishing department of a printing and design house. • Edited, designed and implemented desktop publishing of a 300-page computer instruction book: "AutoCAD R12 for Windows." • Rewrote and designed computer children’s illustrated book entitled "A Journey to the World of Computers. The Hear Center Seattle, WA 1989-1991 • Bookkeeper and receptionist at medical clinic. • Duties included scheduling appointments, computer data input and daily account receivable bookkeeping. • Gained experience in Excel software. Bobit Publishing Co. Redondo Beach, CA 1987-1989 • Production and graphics manager for a publisher of trade and consumer magazines. Consistently met deadlines for 16 different four-color magazines with a total circulation of more than three million and individual circulation from 5,000 to 55,000. • Supervised seven regular employees plus contract workers. • Administered budget for the department, handled personnel administration and directed departmental quality control and organization. • Other duties included overseeing the design of all publications including extensive color selection, researching computer typesetting systems, press checks and directing all operations. Easy Reader Newspaper Hermosa Beach, CA 1983-1987 • Production manager for weekly newspaper with a circulation of 55,000. • Duties included overall supervision of the graphics staff including hiring and firing, budget administration, design and layout of all advertisements, design of all newspaper pages, supervision of paste-up and production camera work. • Originally hired as display advertising salesperson, advanced to classified ad sales manager, and then to production manager. Center Magazine Bryan, TX 1982-1983 • Advertising representative for a monthly magazine. Worked with existing client base and made cold calls by telephone and in the field. Radio Stations KTAM/KORA Bryan, TX 1982 • Assistant to station manager for AM/FM radio stations. Wrote advertising copy for local clients and administered national advertising copy for broadcast. Pflugerville Pflag Pflugerville, TX 1981 • Reporter and advertising representative for weekly newspaper in Pflugerville, TX, in the metropolitan Austin area. • Worked in all phases of operation. Education • Bachelor of arts degree in Journalism, Angelo State University, San Angelo, TX.
Clarification/Follow-up by looptx on 01/14/03 6:08 pm: Thanks again for your suggestions. I just wanted you to know that based on the job title of associate editor, you thought I was way off base by mentioning some of the things I did in my cover letter, such as the design projects I'd worked on, etc. These were all directed toward what the ad had said was needed. I didn't tell them anything that they hadn't requested. Clarification/Follow-up by voiceguy2000 on 01/14/03 10:17 pm: If these various items are all mentioned in the ad as selection criteria for candidates, then I would suggest taking another crack at the letter with two concepts in mind: 1. Explicitly cite each point requested by the ad, and 2. Indicate that you satisfy that criterion with specific facts from your background. It may be that your draft letter will get a little long in this process. That's OK; you can edit for length and conciseness in a later path. What I think will serve you well, though, is specific, concrete evidence that supports your claim to be a candidate worth considering on each item mentioned. Let us say, for instance, that your statement I have excellent project and employee management skills is directly in response to something mentioned in the ad. As stated, it is a naked conclusion with nothing to back it up; rather, the interviewer/screener would have to search your resume for evidence. Better to say something like I have excellent project and employee management skills, as shown by First specific item Second specific item Third specific item To the extent you can put in hard facts and figures (managed a team of 8 people; responsible for a $2.5 million budget; improved turnaround time by 36% in 18 months), that will make your statements far more credible. Simply announcing that you have the qualities of the ad will not make a very persuasive case. Clarification/Follow-up by voiceguy2000 on 01/15/03 2:46 am: Here are some comments on your resume. Without knowing more about the position you are applying for, these comments must be pretty general. RESUME: Name, address, etc. Hard to argue with this. Choose carefully what your “etc.” is. Omit things like age, marital status. Key Skills • Excellent grammar and editing skills. • Strong initiation skills coupled with a good sense of priorities. • Organized, detail-oriented. • Work well under pressure and to tight deadlines while maintaining quality standards. • Creative, problem-solving attitude toward work. • Top-notch computer skills working with PCs and Macs. I agree with your instinct to put key selling points up front (at the top, in other words). But I can’t help thinking that you could find some far more specific and compelling things to say here. All of these traits are generic and diffuse, and as presently stated do little to distinguish you from every other candidate. What can you say that ties in specifically to this job and this employer? Career Review Somehow “review” seems a bit weird -- what about simply “experience”? Community Partnership for Child Development/Head Start Colorado Springs, CO 2000-2002 • Communications Director for Head Start preschool program working in the Resource Development department of nonprofit agency. • Wrote/designed/edited Annual Report, two quarterly newsletters, direct mail pieces and support documents using QuarkXPress software. Was also digital photographer for all publications. Unless the use of Quark Xpress, and the capability to be a digital photographer, are specifically helpful to your candidacy, I would be inclined to put a period after “support documents” and omit the balance of the sentence. • Maintained agency Web site using FrontPage 2000 software. Again, the question is whether this is important to the position of Associate Editor. • Created media interest for donations and recruitment of families for Head Start services by issuing press releases. Wrote direct mail pieces and gained experience in grant writing. I am skeptical as to whether “gained experience in grant writing” helps you. I would put a period after “direct mail pieces” unless grant writing is a specific plus for this job • Managed advertising expenditures for agency and budget for recruitment efforts and publications. I see no harm in mentioning this, especially if it ties in to Associate Editor job description. • As part of the Development Team, planned and implemented special events. I question what bearing this has on the Associate Editor position. • Managed recruitment efforts for preschool programs working within a team helping to bring in 1,400 students annually. This seems unrelated to the Associate Editor position. USA.NET, Inc. Colorado Springs, CO 1998-1999 • Copywriter for a free, Web-based email service with more than five million subscribers worldwide. The word “free” jumps out at me in this sentence. It makes it sound like this is an unpaid job or something. I think we need to know slightly more about this, and make sure it is a legitimate, paying position. • Responsible for writing a wide variety of text: press releases, marketing, banner ad, general Web site, user manual; as well as editing existing text for grammar, content and style. This could be pertinent to the Associate Editor job, but it would be nice to tie it in better. I would substitute the word “produced” for “responsible for writing,” and say “revised site content” instead of “editing existing text.” • Gained experience in HTML, Web design and procedures. This is nice but potentially irrelevant to the Associate Editor position. Frequent Flyer Services Colorado Springs, CO; London, UK 1992-1993; 1995-1998; Current A sharp eye will note that you have been on this payroll three separate times, and are currently wanting to leave it. You need to be prepared to discuss this. • Played an integral role in small, entrepreneurial company as the managing editor for a publications department in which two magazines and a book was produced. The first part of this sentence, “played an integral role in a small, entrepreneurial company,” is kind of vague and does not seem to me to enhance your candidacy. Why not simply say, “Managing editor for publications department producing two magazines and an annual book” or the like? • In 1995, was asked by company president to implement successful start-up of InsideFlyer International Edition, a magazine for members of frequent flyer programs who reside outside the Americas. Operated publishing office in London, England. I would delete the words beginning “In 1995” through “president to” and begin with “Implemented.” • Was also the managing editor of “The Official Frequent Flyer Guidebook,” an annual publication with a 200,000 circulation. In this role, updated information in a 500+ page book by working closely with marketing personnel of all major airlines and hotels. • Served as press contact for publications such as USA Today and The Wall Street Journal which required writing and speaking about the complexities of frequent flyer programs in a precise, businesslike manner. I am a little uncomfortable with the second half of the last sentence, beginning “which required.” It seems a little patronizing to the interviewer. • Currently working freelance to update the information in “The Official Frequent Flyer Guidebook.” This is a little jarring: You say “current” above, but here you say “working freelance.” I think you should consider taking out “working freelance” in this bullet, or else omit “current” in the chronology. Amica International Seattle, WA 1994 What I see here is that you apparently moved from Colorado Springs to Seattle in 1994, then back to Colorado Springs (or was it London?) in 1995. I wonder if there isn’t a better way to handle this. It really depends on your reasons for moving. You might actually put in a separate entry for Frequent Flyer Services 1992-93. • Marketing coordinator, graphic artist and editor for a book publishing department of a printing and design house. • Edited, designed and implemented desktop publishing of a 300-page computer instruction book: “AutoCAD R12 for Windows.” • Rewrote and designed computer children’s illustrated book entitled “A Journey to the World of Computers. No real quarrel with this stuff; it really depends on how closely it ties in with the stated requirements of the Associate Editor job. Perhaps more info than necessary The Hear Center Seattle, WA 1989-1991 • Bookkeeper and receptionist at medical clinic. • Duties included scheduling appointments, computer data input and daily account receivable bookkeeping. • Gained experience in Excel software. It is at this point, The Hear Center, that I have suggested you telescope your earlier experience into a single paragraph that summarizes all of these previous jobs. Bobit Publishing Co. Redondo Beach, CA 1987-1989 • Production and graphics manager for a publisher of trade and consumer magazines. Consistently met deadlines for 16 different four-color magazines with a total circulation of more than three million and individual circulation from 5,000 to 55,000. • Supervised seven regular employees plus contract workers. • Administered budget for the department, handled personnel administration and directed departmental quality control and organization. • Other duties included overseeing the design of all publications including extensive color selection, researching computer typesetting systems, press checks and directing all operations. Easy Reader Newspaper Hermosa Beach, CA 1983-1987 • Production manager for weekly newspaper with a circulation of 55,000. • Duties included overall supervision of the graphics staff including hiring and firing, budget administration, design and layout of all advertisements, design of all newspaper pages, supervision of paste-up and production camera work. • Originally hired as display advertising salesperson, advanced to classified ad sales manager, and then to production manager. Center Magazine Bryan, TX 1982-1983 • Advertising representative for a monthly magazine. Worked with existing client base and made cold calls by telephone and in the field. Radio Stations KTAM/KORA Bryan, TX 1982 • Assistant to station manager for AM/FM radio stations. Wrote advertising copy for local clients and administered national advertising copy for broadcast. Pflugerville Pflag Pflugerville, TX 1981 • Reporter and advertising representative for weekly newspaper in Pflugerville, TX, in the metropolitan Austin area. • Worked in all phases of operation. Again, because this experience is old, and really does not bear much on the Associate Editor position, I would lump it all into a catch-all that says something about previous positions in advertising and production management for local newspapers and radio. Education • Bachelor of arts degree in Journalism, Angelo State University, San Angelo, TX I think this education credential should go in front of your work experience, because it seems relevant to the Associate Editor position. In general, I think you need to be mindful of the specific kind of person this employer is looking for in the Associate Editor position. Unless the ad convinces you that computer skills, software skills (Excel, Quark), and/or HTML & web design skills are a specific plus, I think it is a mistake to highlight them -- there is a danger that you will be pigeonholed as a glorified secretary or technical wonk. You need to convey that you are more than a mere clerk. I am curious to know, if you care to post it, what the ad to which you are responding actually says. Good luck.
Answered By		Answered On
voiceguy2000		01/14/03
I am going to start by commenting on your cover letter, and then post a later reponse regarding the resume some time tomorrow. As you will see from my comments, it seems to me that this letter does almost nothing to persuade the reader that you are a serious contender for this position. Rather, it simply casts you into the same boat as thousands of other people who are out there " looking for a job." I think you need to analyze the specifics of what an Associate Editor for this publication actually does, and then position yourself as having strengths in the major aspects of this position. Dear Sir or Madam: Right off the bat this letter appears impersonal. You should have a definite person you can address this to. I read with interest your posting or craigslist I assume you meant to say ' on ' rather than ' or.' Of course you ' read it with interest,' but this person does not care if you are interested in what you read; they want to know if you are a suitable candidate for this job. for an Associate Editor and would very much like to learn more about the position and your organization. This interviewer is not going to be interested in taking time out of his or her busy schedule to educate you about this job or about the organization. You should be doing your own homework about both, so that you can affirmatively sell yourself. I feel that the job would be a good fit for my skills and personality. How can you possibly say this, when a moment earlier you said you want to learn more about the job and the organization? What, in fact, do you know about the requirements of being a top-flight Associate Editor for this publication, and how do your background and experience make you an attractive candidate? My strengths as an editor revolve around my ability to see the “big picture” while not losing sight of the details. Why? What does this vague talent have to do with editing? Your claim seems very generic and fairly meaningless in this context. My time management skills are first rate -- I can juggle many jobs at once while consistently meeting multiple deadlines. Probably useful but not at the top of the list of criteria for this position. The question is: can you edit? I have excellent project and employee management skills Do these things specifically relate to the tasks of this Associate Editor position? and have worked within marketing and publishing departments. So what? Did you do any editing in these departments? I work well independently and also enjoy working within a team. In other words, no matter what they want, you are it. But how does this relate to editing? I have excellent desk-top publishing skills and have designed books, newspaper editorial pages, ads, brochures and direct-mail pieces. And this relates to being an Associate Editor because ... ? I have also been responsible for the department' budget in several positions. Same question. I would be pleased to meet with you to discuss how I could contribute to your organization Way too vague. They do not care what would please you, and do not have the slightest interest in discussing how you could contribute to the organization. They need an Associate Editor at the moment. You need to tell them, persuasively, how you will contribute, not the other way around. and hope to hear from you soon. Not likely, as least on the basis of this letter. Here are my overall problems with the letter: a. It does not really focus on what an Associate Editor is, or does. From my understanding of the publishing world, an Associate Editor tends to assign articles, shepherd them through preparation and submission, and handle at least the first cut of editing. This requires a knack for picking topics and angles that will interest the readers of the publication, and some specific skills in nurturing the creative work of others. Your letter does not highlight any of this. b. The attributes and qualities you claim for yourself are extremely generic and not especially convincing. It is all boilerplate, like typical Yellow Pages advertising (" No job too big or too small" " We service what we well" " Best selection in town" " Highest quality and lowest prices" ). Nobody really pays attention to this kind of clichéd stuff; it lacks credibility and it lacks impact. Moreover, as mentioned in my comments, many of the things you state do not seem to relate directly to the position in question. c. Perhaps worst of all, the letter shows absolutely no knowledge of the company you are writing to, no particular interest in what this company is all about or what it has done, and no special reasons why you are interested in applying there other than the fact that you need a job. If this is a magazine, for example, you should at least show that you have read some issues and have a sense of its mission and identity, and can see specific ways to contribute. d. If the ad you are responding to listed specific items of experience or training that candidates are supposed to have, you should find a way to touch base on those. e. In general, your letter should convey that you are a savvy person, tuned in to the world in which this employer operates. You provide evidence of this by what you say in the letter, and by citation to specific things mentioned in your resume. Let me say, by the way, that you are courageous to post this letter and ask for honest feedback on it. I do not mean to dump all over you; I am trying to be helpful. I will not be able to comment on your resume tonight, and will have to post a second answer tomorrow to address that. Let me say preliminarily, however, that it is a little unclear to me which of your previous positions really support your candidacy for Associate Editor. In part this may reflect my own lack of clarity on what this particular Associate Editor position calls for. I would wager that being a medical receptionist probably has little to do with it, and I am unclear as to exactly where your production management experience fits in. A journalism degree definitely seems to me to support your candidacy, so I would be inclined to put that higher up in the listings, ahead of the previous jobs. On the previous jobs listing, my preliminary inclination would be to stop the detail with the Amica position, which takes you ten years back, and summarize all the earlier positions (the ones now itemized lower on the page) in a single block. Experience that is 20 years old will not carry a lot of weight, and frankly (although age discrimination is illegal) puts up an unnecessary flag. Also, this allows you to bury distractions like " medical receptionist." I hope to be able to post more reasoned suggestions late tomorrow. Again, please do not take anything I have said as a criticism of you. These are comments engendered by the letter and resume.

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