Question Details	Asked By	Asked On
they say i am lucky	darkstar	05/26/04
this is a poem i wrote when my precious little girl sadie died unexpectedly They say i am lucky they say i am lucky to be having twins i bury my face in my hands and i cry! i know what i am in for for i am myself an identical twin! as the hours pass by quickly i begin to feel I Am very lucky to be having twins! I am so excited, so happy, so joyous I feel so special to be having twins soon i am big with two babies inside my body is ready but my babies are not I go to the hospital to spend two months hooked up to drugs to quiet things down They say i am lucky to be where i am my babies have a good chance to survive i am told My arms are sore and my body aches I do feel so lucky to be the mother of twins The day soon comes when the drugs do no good My daughters are born as sweet as can be They are so beautiful and precious to me So individual yet as identical as can be They say i am lucky to have my twins So perfect, so healthy, so [precious to me! I am so exhausted, its hard to tell am i so lucky to have had twins? I love them so much...there aren't words to tell My joy is more than double the load! And then one morning as i roll over in bed i notice it light and dash out of bed I run for the crib thinking someone is dead But there are my girls as sweet as can be Abbie is awake and Sadie is asleep I reach for Abbie when Anna says "But mommy doesn't Sadie look white to you?" Dear God i cry..."she must be dead!" This just can't be she looks so perfect, so beautiful, so precious to me! My hopes raise high as she makes a noise But later i learn she is gone for good This is NOT the way it should be. They say i am lucky to still have Abbie I feel they are CRAZY! MY DAUGHTER IS DEAD!!! My heart is broken My joy is destroyed My anguish is great My suffering deep Abbies twin is gone She will never know The closseness she felt from being a twin As the months go by I feel so alone No one understands how i feel so alone I get tired of hearing over and over How i am so lucky...I am so lucky Abbie is lonely and crys all the time She misses her sister and doesn't understand As i gaze over at herso alone and unnatural I feel so hurt and think This is not the way it should be I am constantly reminded of what i have lost!!! And now as i ponder and feel in my heart Yes I am so lucky to have had twins I loved every moment and as life goes on I feel very lucky...I still have Abbie She is indeed a constant reminder of all that i have lost But as i ponder and feel in my heart She is also a reminder of what i once had She is indeed a blessing and a joy It is through her that i shall always see Alittle of her sister who was once by her side Yes she is a joy and a blesseingindeed Abbie and Sadie....they are still my twins, Now one is in heaven and one here with me Yes i am so lucky to have had twins. In loving memory of Sadie 11/11/87 1/27/88
Answered By		Answered On
bal317		05/26/04
Hello Dear: What beautiful words. I am very fortunate to have not lost any children, but I have lost a child who was up and running around to a child that sits in a wheelchair. Yes, maybe many will say, she is still here, but I lost the child I had, because she is not the same, but I feel Blessed to of known the other person she was and the graciousnous her youth gave me, and the recall of my pregnancy with her as well. You have lifted many of women's hurt by expressing your cherished words. Only a Mother would understand. Your child was precious, and God is enjoying her along with the other's. We have to let God take over at times when our own bodies can't work properly and aren't we so fortunate to have such a glorious Father. If there is anything I can ever do. please let me know. Thank you, bal317

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