Question Details	Asked By	Asked On
Wise suggestions for women.	Anonymous	10/15/03
If someone approaches you in an agressive manner, if they have not actually touched you at that moment, DO NOT push them away.. You will be considered the aggresser by the police, even if in turn you get punched in the face and hit by a car for it. If you are standing in a driveway and someone backs into you with their vehicle and takes off, it is not considered hit and run, as you had no business being behind the car and getting hit, even if it happened so fast you didn't react and get out of the way quick enough.. It is your fault. You were on their private property. It is not considered hit and run. Do not go to your ex husbands house to collect child support, even if invited. It is called tresspassing according to the police. And don't yell back if someone is yelling at you.. It is an act of agression, and you will have screwed yourself.. Just some words to the wise for all those women out there who are told not to put up with abuse, and to report it. Don't waste your time or emotional energy on it. It will turn around and bite you in the butt. Stay silent and live with it if you have made ANY kind of motion that the police consider agression. You are the culprit, and not the victim. You have invited what has happened to you because of your actions. You are right ethical_reason. Our daughter was guilty of something. Even the police officer agrees with you on that.
Answered By		Answered On
bal317		10/15/03
Hello: That is why in my response I stated, there are many loop holes that one must adhere too, when dealing with an ex. In most assault cases, it is who touches who first, from a simple light touch to the exstreme, specially when prior to the fact there is an exchange where there might be a physical problem. I also found out, anytime a person raises their voice in police manners they can be charged with, disorderly conduct. In your situation, I would go to an Abuse Councelor, this person will set down and take the whole history of the episode, and can directly tell you if you have an advantage legally. Because and this is very important, the Police are not legal representation, they only know what they are given to of been the facts, now that might not be exactly how the whole matter happened. Plus, any court involvements or police negotiations that councelor will be there for full and legal support, and will see that your daughter's rights will be fully protected and honor'd. The number is found in your telephone book or through your information. Plus, your daughter, having been hurt by her ex driving a motor vehicle can be taken as a serious assault in many cases, but your begining of the story has to be put in the hands of someone that has her very best interest, as your daughter being on that private property was done through an invite and natural happenings, she did not push her way there on her own accord, she was invited and has done so at different times in the past, and his reactions are also one shown again in manners stemming from how he's reacted before-so he has a history of bad reactions. Domestic Abuse, is far too highly done, and laws are made for those that choose to victimize another and once she can prove his manners show intimidating or harmful problems to her, she can get a court order of protection, then if he goes against that she at least has the courts to back her up, but she must hold boundries herself and I would strongly suggest a more concrete way of getting her child support, as he could mail money orders, or go through the courts and have the courts return the funds to her. As from what you say, your daughter needs professional advice that is on her side, and the Domestic Abuse Program can offer her all the facts and help her, I would take advantage and ASAP, they have 24/7 councelors at the phone line to assist. Please let me know how things turn out, or if you need any further assistance. Take care, bal317

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